“I Hate Being Photographed” – And the Courage to Be Seen
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I want to start by telling you something I’ve learned over many years of holding the camera. If you feel a wave of dread at the thought of having your picture taken, you are in good company. You’re not strange or vain or broken. You’re simply human.
When you come into my studio, more often than not, you might find yourself sitting across from me, saying some version of the same thing: “I hate being photographed.” Sometimes it comes out almost in a whisper, as if it’s a confession. Other times, you might try to laugh it off. But underneath that reaction, there is usually something tender—a fear that the camera will expose everything you’ve worked so hard to hide.
I understand this more than you might imagine. I’ve been there too. That moment when you see your own face in a picture and all you can focus on are the parts of yourself you wish were different. The voice in your head that says, “I’m not photogenic.” “I look awkward.” “Why can’t I just relax?” The truth is, that voice doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It only means you haven’t yet had the experience of feeling truly safe and seen in front of the lens. And I promise you—that experience is possible.
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I believe the fear of being photographed isn’t really about vanity at all. It’s about vulnerability. When you stand in front of a camera, you open yourself to being witnessed. Not just looked at, but really seen. And there is a world of difference between the two.
If you’ve had photos taken that left you feeling exposed or disappointed, you might have learned to associate the camera with judgment. Maybe you were told as a child that you weren’t photogenic. Maybe you were tagged in an unflattering picture and felt your stomach drop. Over time, it can feel easier to step back, to avoid, to hide. Because it seems safer to be invisible than to risk being seen and misunderstood. But hiding doesn’t protect you from discomfort. It just keeps you from discovering the possibility that being seen can feel like freedom instead of fear.
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When you say to me, “I’m worried I’ll look awkward,” or “I’m afraid I won’t like how I look,” I hear the deeper questions beneath your words. I hear you wondering, What if someone sees the parts of me I’ve worked so hard to conceal? What if I see proof that I’m not enough? What if the way I feel inside doesn’t match what’s reflected back to me?
These questions are part of what makes you beautifully human. And you never have to pretend they don’t exist. In fact, naming them can be the first step toward dissolving their power. I’ve built my entire process around this. Around creating a space where you don’t have to perform or protect. Where you can show up exactly as you are and feel that it is more than enough.
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When you and I work together, we start by slowing everything down. I don’t believe in rushing through your story or squeezing you into a formula. We’ll have a conversation about what you hope to see in your photos and what you’re afraid you’ll see. We’ll talk about how you want to feel, not just how you want to look. Because I believe the energy behind the image is even more important than the image itself.
You never have to know what to do with your hands or how to angle your face. That’s my job. Your only job is to breathe and be present. As we begin, I’ll guide you gently, and we’ll pause to look at some of the images together. Most people are surprised when they see those first photos and realize they look softer, warmer, more themselves than they expected. That moment—when your self-consciousness begins to melt—is when the real magic happens.
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I remember one of my clients, Jake, who told me he had “performance anxiety” about being photographed. He came in convinced he would look tense in every shot. But by the end, he was laughing. When he looked at the images, he said, “I actually look like me.” That’s what I want for you. Not just a set of beautiful photos, but the experience of feeling seen without judgment. I believe that being photographed isn’t about becoming something you’re not. It’s about giving yourself permission to be exactly who you are and letting someone witness that with compassion.
“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow — this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert
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If your heart is beating a little faster at the thought of stepping in front of the camera, that’s okay. You don’t have to be completely ready. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You only have to be willing to try something different. I’d love to talk with you about what that could look like. If you’re in the Los Angeles are and feel curious or even just cautiously hopeful, I’m here.
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You don’t have to love being photographed. But you might be surprised by what happens when you let yourself be seen.